Why today?

Why Today?

Knowing that something has to be done is one thing.  Knowing what you believe in your heart to be the right way to do it is another.  Starting it is a whole different story.  I know I need to release weight.  I believe that eating low carb/low sugar is the way for my body to do that.  Yet starting is a whole new story. 

Ready or not, here I go. 

Today I start claiming my body.  Not the body I have had for many, many years, but the body I know is my right to have.  Strong, healthy, and vibrant.   So, if I know this and feel this, why am I scared?  Why am I nervous?  For me, I am scared to death of another failure.  I have, like so many, lost weight only to regain it back.  Granted, I have never  been able to meet a goal weight, or even come close really.   The thought of releasing 100 pounds is so overwhelming.  So I have decided I am NOT going to lose 100 pounds, I am going to lose 10 pounds...10 times.  Sure, it is semantics...but this is my journey, so I can play that game with myself if I want, lol!

So, why today?  Long story short, it is my Dad's birthday today.  My Dad would have been 63 today.  He died almost 3 years ago of Lung Cancer.  Lung Cancer that he developed by smoking excessively for many years.  I could never understand why he couldn't just STOP smoking.  I mean, he knew all the risks, he saw his Mom die due to complications of smoking.  Why were cigarettes more important than his family he was surely going to leave behind?  It was his addiction.  Then it hit me.  My weight is the same as his cigarettes.  It will surely cause as much damage to my body.  It will surely shorten my life, taking time away from my family.  Plain and simple, I do not want my children to see me like that. I do not want my children asking why I can't just STOP.  I do not want my children to lose me so young. I do not want my children to have to figure out who is going to have to take care of me. I WANT to see my kids grow up and grow old. I WANT to be involved in my grandkids lives. I WANT to live a long and healthy life for them and for me. This is a disease I am going to have to fight every day. That is how I have to view it. Same as a nicotine, or a drug, or an alcohol additiction. I will never be cured. Even at my goal weight, I will have to fight the obesity disease EVERYDAY.

Starting today.  On my Dad's birthday.  As a reminder of what lies ahead of me if I do not take care of my body.  As a reminder of those I stand to hurt beside myself.

Starting today, starting right now...